


warpedcraft

by xX_ch4_ch4_sL1m3_Xx



Series: Bandcraft [2]
Category: Bandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Assassins & Hitmen, Catboys & Catgirls, Crack Treated Seriously, Death by Asthma, Divorce, Ghosts, Home Ownership, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love Triangles, M/M, Maid dress, Mutual Pining, Orphans, Pining, Texas, Tour Bus Sex, Vampires (punz), Warped Tour, Warped Tour 2016, divorce lawyer quackity, drummer quackity, professional juggler george
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xX_ch4_ch4_sL1m3_Xx/pseuds/xX_ch4_ch4_sL1m3_Xx
Summary: When Alexis Quackity's older brother, Vic Fuentes, asks him to fill in as Pierce The Veil's stupid fucking drummer on Warped Tour 2016, Big Q is less than ecstatic. But once he sees the gorgeous eyes of Sleeping with Sirens' professional juggler, he's ready to risk anything in the name of love. There's only one problem though; the previously mentioned juggler is Extremely homophobic. And of course, at the same time, he has to deal with one of his toughest divorce cases yet (with another undoubtedly beautiful Texan chad). Will Quackity be able to juggle his newfound romantic feelings and his extremely successful divorce law career? Can he even make it through the summer? Find out by reading WarpedCraft: a story of love, lust, and supernatural divorce clients.Spin-off fic to Sleep Alone
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/GeorgeNotFound, Alexis | Quackity/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream/Gerard Way, Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade & Eret, Eret/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF) (past), GeorgeNotFound/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt/Wilbur Soot, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap (past), Luke | Punz/Sapnap (past), Vic Fuentes & Alexis | Quackity, Vic Fuentes/Awsten Knight (background)
Series: Bandcraft [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2007997
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	1. A Sapnap-Themed Prologue

Sapnap trudged down the sidewalk, the warm, Texas rain only adding to his wallow-y mood. He was soaked to the skin, his clothes sticking to his body in an uncomfortable way. And yet, he was still thankful for the way the rain hid the nonstop tears running down so well. He just couldn’t believe he’d walked right into another failed marriage. I mean, this was shaping up to be his fourth divorce in six months. At this point, would he ever be able to find love?

He crossed the empty street, not knowing or caring where he was going as long as it was away from that wretched house he and Dream had bought. He stopped in his place and lifted his head to watch the rain, letting it wash what was left of his tears to the ground. As he came back to reality he noticed a store he was sure he’d already walked past 10 minutes ago. 

Fuck, dude. He’d been going in circles this whole time. 

In a bout of frustration, he fucked around (sat on the curb all huffy) and found out (got he ass wet). Stupid Dream, making them buy a house in a part of Texas he was unfamiliar with. The more he thought about stupid dream and his dumb gorgeous face the more he wallowed in his own sorrows. What could he say, dude catches feelings fast! 

His feet and ankles were fully submerged in the water on the side of the road, and he let his head drop to his knees. There sat nick sapnap, sobbing into his own arms for who knows how long. Certainly not him. 

But, miraculously, Sapnap was about to find something that would change his life in those Texas rain puddles. As he blinked the hot tears out of his eyes and his vision began to clear, Nick Snapmap noticed a small piece of paper floating in the runoff. He wasn’t usually one to pick up trash, but this specific card seemed to intrigue him more than it usually would. Upon closer inspection, he realizes it’s a business card for Alexis Q. Quackity, divorce lawyer. He looks into the ethereal, printed eyes of the man on the card and thinks it just might be time to call up an old friend…


	2. Jackity of All Trades: Warped Tour Eve (Pt. 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warped Tour hasn't even started yet, but oh boy the drama has!

Quackity woke up to the sun shining through his windows, ready to start another wonderful day as the best divorce lawyer in the south and west and southwestern regions of North America. After he had speedran law school in just one year, he had gained a reputation among the other divorce lawyer cliques. He was a beast, fully unstoppable, absolutely sicko mode! This man knew divorce law like no one else did and used it for purposes of varying morality.

He began to stretch and take his sweet time getting out of bed. It was his day off, you see, and Quacky was going to make the most of it. He didn’t get much time off from his busy law career, so he tended to cherish days like these. He hummed a tune as he busied himself with his daily routine, smiling from pure joy of living. He zipped up his navy blue adidas tracksuit and made sure his LAFD beanie was secured on his head before doing a fun little skip walk towards the stairs.

As Quackity made his way downstairs, he was surprised to see a figure sitting at his kitchen table. As he got closer he realized the figure was his older brother, Vic Fuentes. 

“Hey, Vic… aren’t you supposed to be at band practice right now?”

“Yeah,” Vic fidgeted awkwardly, “about that…”

He looked down and paused for a minute, seemingly trying to compose his thoughts. After an awkward pause that lasted longer than Big Q would’ve liked, Vic looked up and said probably the last sentence Quacky expected him to:

“Yeah, our drummer fucking died.”

Quackity just stared at him, not fully sure how to respond. “Huh, that sucks.” (I mean, what was he supposed to say? ‘I’m so sorry’? ‘Good riddance’?)

“Yeah…”

They both just stayed in their places, Alex Quackity standing in the doorway while Vic sat at the table, completely silent. Neither of them had shit to say. It was just that kind of a moment, man. 

“So, uhh…” Quackity started, “Why are you in my house again? And how did you bypass my advanced security systems and Ring Doorbell Cam?”

“Isn’t it obvious, lil bro?” Vic asked, sounding (unjustifiably) annoyed. “We need to find a replacement drummer, like, yesterday!”

“And you want me to do it?” Quackity asked, incredulously. “I don’t even play the drums, bro!”

“You can LEARN, dude, it’s not that hard!”

“It certainly IS that hard!”

“I’ll pay you!”

Cappity Quackity paused. Now THAT caught his attention. His clients tended to pay in ways other than cash, so although he was stronger than any other mortal on this side of the globe, he was also broke as fuck.

“Yea, ok. I guess I’ll do it then.”

And so, he had become the thing he hated most.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

To call, or not to call?

Sapnap fiddled nervously with the business card in his hands. Its presence had been lingering in the back of his mind all week since he’d found it in that puddle. He hadn’t been allowed peace since and he knew he wouldn’t regain it until he’d made up his mind on this. 

“Uhh hey? Earth to Sapnap? Hellooooo”

George’s annoying bitch voice snapped Sapnap back to reality. He’d totally zoned out thinking about the divorce lawyer he used to know when he was in the middle of a conversation with his beautiful housemate, Gogy.

“You’re still not answering me, Sap.”

Finally acknowledging the situation, he chose to reply “What do you want, stupid bitch?”

“Wow, ok. Rude.” George crossed his arms and huffed, clearly honked off after Sapnap’s comment. He got over it really quick though, and turned back to Samsung Refrigerator to ask, “You’re still driving me to Warped, right? The first show is in Dallas and you know I need a ride. I don’t want to keep Sleeping with Sirens waiting.”

“You’re 36 years old, Gogy, why don’t you just learn to drive already?”

“Why would I do that when I can just have you and Dream as my personal chauffeurs?”

“Don’t mention his name to me right now. We’re going through a rough patch, ok?”

George simply rolled his eyes and went off to pack his stuff, or maybe to simply do Gogy things. 

Sap couldn’t resist letting his attention be pulled back to the business card. He knew Alexis Q. Quackity was the best divorce lawyer in the law game, but he didn’t know if he’d be able to face him after what happened last spring. He might’ve never stopped thinking about the Big Q and his enchanting smile, but what if he wanted nothing to do with Sap?

What if Quackity didn’t even remember him?

His thoughts began to spiral, descending deeper and deeper down this bottomless well of insecurities and questions and repressed feelings. Every time Sapnap thought back to Quackity and the soft paper of the water-damaged business card he was pushed even further down by his own mind. He needed to make his choice, and do it soon, before he let all these worries consume him. 

“Ready to hit the road, Sapnap?” George exclaimed, electric scooter-ing into the room.

“Why the fuck are you using an electric scooter on the wood floors. We literally just bought this house. Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No <3” George responded, gogily.

Sapnap rolled his eyes, but still walked out with the unfound british boy to help him load his electric scooter and juggling balls into the car safely and securely. They both hop in the car and start the moderately long drive to Dallas. 

After a bit of comfortable silence, George looks over to his friendly friend Sap and asks, “Hey, man, is everything alright with you? Your vibes have been way off lately bro :/”

Sapnap is taken aback for a second, touched that his friend cared enough to ask. He didn’t want to unload everything onto George though, this was his big juggling day! 

“It’s just the divorce getting to me, but I’ll be fine. Thanks for checking up on me though :)”

George gave him a signature Gogy smile :] and settled back into his chair.

“You know you can always talk to me Sap, we’re buddies,”

“Thanks, Gogy.”

It was at that moment that Sapnap made his choice about the call. He had his good friend George, and he knew things would work out with Dream eventually. The three of them always made it work, and this time was no exception. Dragging people back from his past wouldn’t help anything. Sapnap decided to get rid of the card and move on from his past in the divorce court. He was ready to start anew.

Unfortunately, fate didn’t care to respect his decision. As Sapnap was helping George unload his things from his car and into Sleeping with Sirens’ tour bus, he locked eyes with the last person he wanted to see standing across the way by the Pierce the Veil bus.

Oh, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omh (oh em honk) i hope u guyz likd this chapter!! i worked so hard on it lolz
> 
> next chapter wil b up soon!!


	3. Sapnap's Lament: Warped Tour Eve (Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, the pining begins....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I really clarified it, but George's job is to stand on stage and juggle while post-hardcore band Sleeping with Sirens play their funky beats. He makes hella money from it

If Quackity had known he’d have to do physical labor like this he’d never have agreed to Vic’s offer in the first place. 

Big Q had been on his feet for hours, moving instruments and equipment and packing their things into the bus. The hot, Texas sun beat down on him, and every drop of sweat felt like a weight dragging him to the ground. His arms ached from moving boxes and amps and his legs felt like they’d give out at any moment. Quackity was a wreck and couldn’t think about anything other than wanting this to end.

In conclusion, Warped Tour fucking sucked.

That was, until he spotted someone he just couldn’t take his eyes off of. Big Q could only see the side profile of the man loading juggling supplies into the Sleeping with Sirens tour bus, but that was all he really needed to tell he was absolutely gorgeous. The way his short, dark brown hair framed his stunning face stopped Quackity in his tracks. Freezing, he let out a small gasp, which in turn caused the man to look towards him. Quackity met his dark, mysterious eyes for only a second before the other man quickly turned away, but it was too late. Big Q was already under the mystery man’s spell.

When he finally came back to reality, he glanced to the side of the gorgeous man to see another (handsome) man staring at him with a look of abject horror. Quackity straightened himself out quickly, thinking he’d probably gotten caught staring. He felt his face grow hot out of embarrassment. But… hold on. That other guy looked… kind of familiar, almost. Quack risked a glance back at him to find the guy was still staring, eyes wide in shock and confusion. And, that’s when it hit him.

Holy fuck, that’s Karl’s ex husband. That was the guy he fully bankrupted TWICE due to being such a good divorce lawyer. Yikes, that’s awkward. He couldn’t even remember his name, shit.

“Hey, lil bro, do you know those guys?” Vic asked, turning to follow Q’s gaze. He noticed Q’s blush and shook his head, amused at his brother’s antics. Not like he was any better when it came to catching feelings, but still.

Big Q jerked his head towards Vic, shaking it furiously. He swore to honk, Vic better not pull some shit right now. Quacky was already at his fucking limit.

“Why don’t you go over and talk to your friends, lil bro? You deserve a break Q, you’ve been working so hard all day.”

Aw, man. Well, now he couldn’t just say no, there was a break on the line! Plus, Quackity knew Vic would feel bad if he just brushed him off like that. He couldn’t just do that to his bro, he valued their bro-ship wayyy too much.

“Oh, uhh, ok. I guess I will simply go over and talk to them now.”

Vic nodded at Q’s response, seeming a bit confused by yet still accepting of his answer. Quackity looked over at the other two boys, neither of whom were looking his way anymore. Karl’s ex seemed like he was still in some kind of distress though, and Quackity could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him. Hey, wait a minute… wasn’t he also Punz’s ex? How many divorces had he lawyered for this guy?

Ignoring those thoughts for a second, Quackity took a deep breath and began to step forward. God, this was gonna be awkward as hell. But who knows, maybe something good will come out of it… 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sapnap couldn’t believe how unlucky he was.

This, really, was too much. Seeing Alexis Quackity here, in person, felt like a cruel trick being played on him by fate. Out of all the people in the world, of all the places he could’ve been, the two of them had ended up just meters away from each other. 

Sapnap looked away from the lawyer’s gaze, trying too hard to seem uninterested. He was focusing so hard on moving those juggling balls and pins (seriously, how much juggling stuff did Gogy have?) that he almost jumped out of his skin when a familiar voice broke through his anxious thoughts. 

“Hiya! I’m Quackity, looks like we’ll be tour buddies this summer, ay!” He laughed awkwardly, trying to break the tension that surrounded the boys like a thick fog.

George raised an eyebrow at him, and provided a hesitant “Uhh… hi,” in response. Sapnap wanted so badly to just Be Normal and introduce himself, but he just couldn’t seem to get a word out. He felt just as nervous as he had when he was going through his first divorce.

He was quickly brought back into reality by George elbowing him in the ribs as hard as his Gogy arms allowed him to.

“Hey! That hurt, asshole.”

“Well maaaaayyyybe if you didn’t stand there zoning out I wouldn’t have had to!” George replied, snottily and smug as he does. This guy was such a bitch.

Sapnap saw Quackity looking between the two of them, seemingly trying to figure out what the deal was with these guys. He decided to introduce himself for real, as maybe this would be a chance to start over with Quackity. 

“Hey, I’m Sapnap,” He said, nodding to Big Q. He extended his hand to the lawyer boy, realizing that they were the same height (ideal for staring longingly into each other's eyes). Quackity reached out to meet Sapnap’s hand, and they made eye contact and shared a smile. As Sapnap reeled back, he knew for the next few days all he’d be thinking about was Quackity’s firm handshake, and how soft his hands were. George, apparently wanting to be included, also leaned in for a handshake, and Sapnap hated that he almost felt a little jealous.

“So, are you guys gonna be traveling with us on Warped this summer?” Quackity asked, looking almost hopeful.

“I’ll be here,” George spoke up before Sapnap had even been given a chance. “Snapmap is just my chauffeur for the day.”

Quackity nodded in understanding, and started, “So… I’m on my break right now. Do you guys think you’d maybe want to grab lunch or something?”

“Why not? I’m pretty hungry,” Sapnap answered, turning toward George to gauge his reaction. 

“Sure, I’d love to,” George said, with a little Gogy smile on his face. “Just give me a minute to make sure my things, juggling or otherwise, are secured in my bunk.”

Gogy skittered off towards the Sleeping with Sirens bus in a little gogily way to make sure his juggling bag was secured.

And now, Sapnap was left alone with Big Q. He didn’t know if he was ready for this. Maybe, he’d get lucky, and Quackity simply wouldn’t say-

“Hey, so like, I know you from somewhere right?” Quackity asked in that sexy lawyer voice of his. Ah, fuck. They’d really have to go through all this again, huh.

“Uhh, yeah…” Sapnap started, awkwardly, “You kinda, uhh, bankrupted me on three separate occasions this year. During my divorces.”

“Ohhh…” Quackity forced out a laugh while rubbing the back of his neck. “Shit, I, uhh, didn’t realize it was that bad, lol.”

They stood there, stewing in that terrible silence for a minute. For once, Sapnap wished Gogy would just get his ass back here. He’d never allow gay shit to happen on his watch. 

Quackity cleared his throat and asked, “You’re, uhm, Karl’s ex, right? Divorced him twice?”

“Yeah…” Sapnap confirmed, staring at the ground sheepishly, “and Luke Punz’s, too.”

“Oh, fr?” Big Q replied, “Damn, that’s-”

But before he could comment on the sad and pathetic state of Nick Sapnap’s love life, George Henry Davidson (Sapnap’s lord and savior) skedaddled out of the tour bus and back into the conversation. George was way too homophobic to ever get Caught Up In That Gay Shit*, so he unintentionally defused the situation pretty well. 

Even though that first encounter was whack, lunch was kind of okay-ish, actually, and Sapnap thought to himself that if Quackity hadn’t ruined his life 3 times over they’d actually have made pretty good friends. Sap might just have to forgive him for everything or whatever lol.

On their way back, Nick Sapnap made sure to stop Quackity for a bit of business-related talk. After having lunch together he felt like he trusted Big Q entirely, and Sap respected his reputation as the best divorce lawyer in the South and West and Southwest regions of North America. 

“Hey, so, I was wondering if I could hire you as a lawyer? Like, how much would that cost?”

Big Q looked at him, confused. “Why would you need to hire me as a lawyer? I only do divorces and divorce lawyer stuff.”

Sapnap felt his face getting a bit hot, “Y-yeah, I know.” He mumbled, “That’s, uhh, that’s why I’m asking.”

“Oh fuck, are you getting divorced Again?!” Quackity said, louder than Sapnap would’ve liked. Great, now people were staring.

“Nevermind, look I don’t need to take this from you-” Sapnap turned to walk away, stopping only when he felt Quackity’s hands wrap around his arm.

“No, wait! I didn’t mean to judge! I was just surprised, is all.” Quackity tilted his head up to meet Sapnap’s gaze, “I’d love to help you with your divorce.”

They stood still like that, just looking into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever. Finally, Sapnap broke the spell by glancing away, and Quackity loosened his grip and let go of Nick’s arm. 

“We should be getting back,” Sapnap said, simply ignoring the tenderness of their previous interaction. 

“Yea, you’re probably right,” Quackity agreed. “Call me or text me later though, ok? I know you have my number, or at least can find it online.”

Sapnap only nodded and kept walking swiftly back to the busses.

After a long day of helping George with manual juggling-related labor, Sapnap was honestly sad to have to leave. He knew even though they liked to argue he’d really miss Gogy. He made sure not to leave until he got a big hug goodbye and a promise to video call as soon as possible. Clingy bitch.

“GoooOoOoodbyeEeeEe Gogyyyy!!” He yelled out the car window.  
“GooOOoOooOoodbyeeeeEeEee Saaapnaapp!!” He heard George yell back from the bus doorway.

And Sapnap was alone once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *To clarify, Sapnap and Quackity Do still get Caught Up In That Gay Shit for George. They are not immune to his Gogy-ish charms.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry 4 this super short chapter ! xP  
> more wil b up soon x3


End file.
